Her Story: Learning to love me for me


Victoria De Costa is a beautiful, young lady who has been through a journey of her own. She has decided to share her story in hopes that it will help others in her position. I also hope her story will remind you that self-love comes with patience and time. Thank you once again Victoria for sharing your story with us. 

It has recently come to my attention the sad reality of how people poorly love themselves and this shouldn’t be the case, because we all deserve and need to love ourselves. It’s the only true love that will never fade away.

When it comes to loving the entirety of yourself–not just your body–the concept breaks down even further. How easy is for a child of neglectful parents to love themselves? How easy is it for someone subjected to a lifetime of bullying for being LGBT to love themselves?

Our society pushes certain types of people down, and then mandates that we should all “love ourselves”—and if we fail to do so it is our fault. It is NOT our fault. We live in a society where we are boxed into certain categories. And if we don’t fit into “these boxes” we are not good enough for society.

But you know what? (Pardon my French) fxck what society says or thinks. Love yourself. Love who you are. Because you are here, you have feelings, and you are important. It may not be easy, to love yourself. But it is possible. With a little TLC and time, you will learn that loving yourself is the greatest love of all. 

I was bullied throughout my schooling career. Just because I wasn’t what society thought was “normal.” I got called names, slapped around, teased for what I chose to call myself. It got worse every single day. And I contemplated suicide, because of the little consideration people had for me.

As I reached the age of 20, I decided to take my power back into my own hands. I needed to be who I am and not bother what society thinks of me. I got up, dusted myself off and became me. The person I hid for so many years. I started to love myself and began to see my worth, life became clearer and the world started to make more sense.

Yes, loving yourself is great. I wouldn’t say I love myself, but I do like myself quite a bit. Loving yourself is a privilege that you need to own and accept.

Try to be okay with yourself. Try not to listen to when the world tells you that being you is wrong. Only then will loving yourself come more naturally.

I would like to thank Aphiwe Khambule (My Queen Bae) for giving me the opportunity to share my story and advice in this blog post. I appreciate it greatly.

To everyone reading this, I love you, and it’s more than okay to love yourself.

Love and blessings,

Tori, xo.

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